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Showing posts from February, 2018

Does it have to be fixed?

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If you break your arm, it needs to be fixed. If it is not fixed, it will heal, but it may not heal properly. There may be complications.
If you break the screen on your cellphone, it may have to be fixed. If the crack is inconspicuous, you may choose to continue to use the phone.
If you break an egg, you can make breakfast.
Some breaks open up new possibilities. They don't need to be fixed. They need to be used.
When people come to one of my courses, they often assume that if something has broken, it will need to be fixed. It will need to be made whole and functional again.
But sometimes, they have cracked an egg. They need to stop trying to fix it and learn how to cook.

Managing frustration in a Toronto February

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This is how February feels in Toronto. If you're not from a northern city, remember this picture as you read the rest of the post.
Those of you who love #nlp might have noticed something in the sentence above. I said that the picture could show you how February feels (not how it looks).  As I am writing, February looks like a bright blue sky shining on clean white snow. It's postcard pretty.  But it's not how most people are feeling in February.
Here's a short story about how February becomes the month of frustration. It's cold and icy and still quite dark, so people stay inside. They don't get out to see as many people (the people at the mall or the park make a difference even if you don't talk to them). They don't move as much (who wants to go for a walk when the temperature is below zero, the wind is freezing your face, and there is ice underfoot? They are often slightly chilled (building heating is imperfect) and surrounded by people who may be car…

Difference is the Difference That Makes a Difference

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John Ginder is one of the founders of NLP (neurolinguistic programming). He has said, "Difference is the difference that makes a difference."  What does that mean?

It means that before you can grow or change, you need to let new information into your system. But your system (your brain/mind/body all working together) automatically filters out most new information.  It takes will power to pay attention to something you don't already expect.

Which brings me to the picture above. Canada Reads just launched its books and their defenders for 2018.  Maybe you will take the time to read the five books and play along when the debates start. I will.  And I am pretty sure already that I will not like all five of the books. That's sort of the point.

You might get stronger by confirming biases and over learning what is already familiar. But you won't grow. You won't change. You won't open up new possibilities.

Reading someone else's choices is one way to let diff…