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Showing posts from October, 2017

How to keep your head

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We're one day away from Halloween and you're probably surrounded by images of heads that have become separated from bodies. If you're lucky, you're not also surrounded by coworkers who are losing their heads.

Since you probably already know how to lose your head (at least under pressure), here are three reminders of how to keep it: Your head should be continuous with your body. That means staying aware of your physical needs for food, rest, exercise and touch (yes - I said touch. People are social creatures and a hug will often reconnect a lost head).Your  body and your head should be moving in the same direction. You need to walk your talk when you want to keep your head. Integrity is a sure way to reconnect the head you are afraid you are losing.Phone a friend. Better yet, go find a friend and talk in person. Putting your concerns into words will stabilize them and telling them to a friend will add both comfort and perspective. When you're losing your head, it…

Don't Trust Your Gut: Respect It

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Today is the day after a very full weekend of NLP training. In the world of NLP and self development, lots of people will tell you to "trust your gut," as if we all know all the right answers but somehow fail to listen to ourselves.


My training is a little different. I teach people to respect their gut. Your gut is a good teacher. Good teachers expect you to listen to what they say (it's based on expertise developed over time) and then to question it. A good teacher expects you to test what they teach.

Your "gut" will sometimes provide you with good counsel, and sometimes it will mislead you because the experience that has shaped your 'gut' reaction is not typical of the situation you're in now.  Your gut can be wrong. You know this. There are times in all our lives when we listened to our gut and really wish we had thought things through instead.

Most of the processing power of your mind/brain/body system is outside your conscious awareness. It is …

Don't Miss It! (How Negatives Build Rapport and Engagement)

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I used the phrases "Don't Miss It"  and " Don't start" in an ad, and someone made a comment about my "interesting" language. I don't know for sure that what interested that person was the use of negatives, but it made me think about the way people get hung up on a formula for what they should or should not say.


Once someone challenged me on the use of the word 'problem.' He felt that it was inappropriate in the work I was doing. I felt it was inappropriate to tell people that the things that troubled them were not problems or to hide from problems or to overlook them.

In fact, "negatives" can be a strong opening. We all know that: it's not an unusual strategy to catch people's attention with a warning or to motivate people by giving them a problem to solve. They are strong because they connect with people where they live: that ad was written to catch the attention of the people who were so tired of their baggage and m…

Simple joys are sensible solutions

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What do you do when you are tired and overwhelmed and your to-do list is so long that you can't face writing it all down?
Sometimes I go for a walk. I trust experience (and quite a lot of science) that suggests that I will get more done if I recharge first. And then I walk away from the computer and find some trees. If I can find some water too, that's even better.
I still hear the voices in my head that tell me I don't have time and I should work harder. I don't really fight them - it's like fighting construction noise. I just let them make sounds in the background until I stop noticing them. 
I walk until I feel my muscles loosen and my thoughts unwind and I realize that my number one priority is not the top thing on my list: my number one priority is to remember to live each day as well as I can. 
The voices in my head will kick up a fuss when I get back from my walk. But I'll be ready to calm them then.
Happy Thanksgiving!
p.s. I couldn't resist the al…