Influence Begins with Knowing All of What You Want

It's crazy hard to know exactly what you want. That may be part of the reason that the people who take the time to figure it out have so much power.  In a room where most people are a little fuzzy about what they want, the person who really knows is much more likely to move effectively.

Have you ever wished for more patience?

The true answer is no. People don't want patience: they want results. Patience is a sort of consolation prize at best.  When someone says they want patience, what they really mean is they want something they can't see unless they open their eyes to a bigger picture. What they want is most likely a combination of certainty within themselves and a positive relationship with someone around them. Patience indicates that the frame is too tight for them to see a possibility of moving forward together.

That tight frame makes patience much less likely. That tight frame makes it hard to see beyond a moment of irritability or conflict. That tight frame means they are stuck with someone who is blocking what they want, probably for no good reason.

In a wider frame, they could consider the experience of the people around them and open up the possibility that everyone could have something they need and everyone could move forward together. They could see the strategies and triggers and leverage points that can transform a good day into a frustrating day or turn a stand-off into a chance for something better.

If you want or need more influence, then what you want is the will power to consider the bigger frame, secure in knowing that frame will show you how to get where you want to go.

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