Unstuck: Finding the End of the Tape

Have you ever grabbed a roll of tape and been unable to find the end?  You twirl the tape around and run your finger over the surface to find the edge that will allow you to actually unwind the tape you need. Nothing is as stuck as a roll of tape whose end is so tightly wound that it is almost impossible to find.

Almost impossible. But you know there's an edge there and you know you need the tape. So even though the first time around it appeared to be seamless, you twirl it again. This time maybe you look with both your eyes and your fingertip.  In a hurry, you press too hard and you miss the difference that marks the edge.  You still know there must be an edge and you still need the tape. So you take another breath, slow down, work with a lighter touch.  When you find the edge, you tease it away from the rest of the tape.

If you move too fast, the edge breaks. You know where it is, but you still can't make use of the tape that is right in front of you, the tape you hold in your hand.  So you take another breath, slow down, work with a lighter touch.

The more tightly wound a problem is, the more patience it takes to find the edge that will unravel it. This is especially true when you notice that what is tightly wound is somewhere in your core.  You breath around this too-tight feeling. Your stomach flattens, but not in a good way. You are becoming the problem that you are trying to solve.

Rushing won't help. Force won't help. Cleverness won't help.

What does help is patience. You take another breath, slow down, work with a lighter touch.  Because you know there is an edge and you know you need what it will unwind for you.

Comments

holymotherofgod said…
omg what a timely post for me. What a great aha this is for me- because (a) i have the tape of being stuck in my mind a lot lately, (b) I cant get unwound lol and (c) i am so frustrated with being unable to UNDO it that it drives me insane. Hilarious! I am the tape!! =) Thanks Linda, I'll find the end soon...
3:07 am
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Yes" sets for building agreement and manipulation

I recently watched a video of a solution-focus therapist working with a client. The clip began with a number of questions and statements with which the client would agree.  In hypnosis and sales, it's known as a "yes set." If you're not familiar with the concept, it works roughly like Simon Says.  In that game, you get into a pattern of doing what "Simon says" so that you eventually do what the leader says even when s/he does not insert the magic words "Simon says." In the "yes set," you get used to saying yes until such a strong pattern of agreement exists that you agree with statements or instructions you might not otherwise give your agreement. The more times in a row you have said "yes," the greater the probability that you will say "yes" to the next statement. Yes sets can be seen in two ways. The first is that you are offering someone evidence that you are observing and accepting their experience. When every
Read more

The hypnotic contract

Under what conditions would you allow someone else to tell you what to think?   If you have watched a stage hypnotist, you have seen what looks like one person exercising remarkable control over the thoughts and actions of another. It is fascinating, in part, because we have all seen it happen in real life. Suddenly someone we know seems to be relying on someone else to do the thinking.  Even if the influence is good, it is a little frightening. The secret is that there are no magic words.  In order to lead someone into hypnosis, that person has to be willing to go there. Often the people you see on stage are more than willing. For whatever reasons, they are enthusiastic about giving up self control and allowing someone else to take charge. They know that there are limits to what can happen on stage and they are only agreeing to give up control within those limits. What you see in hypnosis is an agreement between two people. Like all agreements between human beings, it stretches as far
Read more

The fine line between observations, suggestions and commands

I have been watching Tony Robbins this week in the documentary called " I Am Not Your Guru ." You can read a nicely ambivalent review in the Financial Times here.   I think the ambivalence is built into the process, which might be surprising given the loud celebration that characterizes the Date with Destiny in the film. For those of us whose work has evolved from NLP, there are lessons to be learned from modelling the most famous and successful practitioner of NLP (Robbins has far surpassed all the founders by all measures of success). Because he does so much so well, Robbins lets us see how fine the line is between observing and suggesting. Let me explain. Robbins frames his "interventions" both with the exercises and performances we do not see in the film and with his invitations. The film opens with an intervention with a young man who says he is suicidal; it is only later that we see Robbins say he is looking for someone who is suicidal to work with. Since
Read more