|Finding or Fighting?|
People look for things they have lost, things they know exist but do not have, things they hope exist (but they are not sure) and things they hope to bring into existence (by creating them). Sometimes they are consciously searching for something and sometimes they only know they were searching when they find what they want. Sometimes they are looking for stuff (material things); sometimes for concepts (like truth or home or identity).
People fight for things and against things. Sometimes they struggle with obstacles or opponents and sometimes with parts of themselves. They might fear the struggle or they might embrace it. They might be born competitors or they might believe that what they want is on the other side of a fight.
When you hear a story, listen for whether it is a story about fighting or a story about finding. It's your first, best clue to finding the common ground you need to understand what is being said, to make a connection, to collaborate or corroborate or contest the message.